Children with ADHD often face three major challenges. These typically relate to overactivity, impulsivity, and inattention. Inattention may be most problematic in the area of academic development whereas impulsivity often has a major negative impact on the child's social development. Although a child's overactivity may present challenges in school and may be annoying at home, it presents the least concern regarding the child's overall development.
As we grow and learn to relate to our environment we develop certain habits of interacting with the world around us. These habits can be extremely helpful because we do not need to give conscious thought to what we are doing and the behaviors become automatic. As we develop effective and positive habits of relating to others things work extremely well. What happens when we learn negative habits that become automatic and become deeply ingrained? As our children develop negative patterns of relating in their social environment others may not respond to them in a positive manner. Our child may feel rejected, angry, depressed, and even surprised as others do not respond well to them. The saddest part is that children in these situations are often not aware of the behaviors they exhibit which have a negative impact on others due to their unconscious and habitual nature. What they are doing may seem normal and it is difficult for them to understand that it is their own behavior that is causing or provoking the negative reaction or response from the children they want to be part of their lives. They might even think "What did I do wrong?!"
Compassionate accountability and the modeling of effective social skills may be the best tools for protecting our child from a world which might be cruel at times. As the words to the song say: "If I'm good to the river the river will be good to me".