When we first meet someone that we feel might be a potential partner, there is often a feeling of excitement. The feeling may be intense and difficult to describe. Phrases like, " head over heals", "love sick", or the word "falling" itself might be descriptive. It can definitely be a certain type of "high". There are many romantic songs that attempt to express these emotion's and this delightful experience . Some of these might include Frank Sinatra's "You Make Me Feel So Young", Etta James, "At Last", or Ed Sheeran's "Thinking Out Loud", as well as thousands of others. One of the things that we often feel is a sense of aliveness and even euphoria, As time passes to frequently we lose that sense of aliveness that we once felt, and which we attributed to the other becoming a part of our life. Overtime the relationship may begin to feel flat and we experience disappointment. We wonder, "What Happened? As Ester Perel says some couples appear to be alive and others appear to be half dead. She has written extensively, and talked about infidelity, and what people may be searching for when they have an affair. In her book "The State of Affairs, (Rethinking Infidelity)", she discusses this issue and the possibility for our motivations regarding an affair. She says that the affair is most often about searching for some lost part of ourselves. One of things that we may be searching for is a sense of aliveness that we have lost. Not everyone who is disappointed, has an affair, or separates, but the disappointment and lack of energy and lifelessness may continue. Our relationships can serve to enhance our sense of wellness and aliveness, or they can drain our energy and cause us to feel depressed and lifeless. Can we reproduce that initial "high", I am not sure, but we can experience a different type of aliveness, maybe even deeper and more profound. Often we don't have the awareness and understanding that we need to create the type of relationship which can serve to bring this aliveness to both ourselves and our partners. There was a time when we could only guess what made relationships both loving and and exciting. Now we know in fact what needs to occur for this to happen. If the word "Science", was not so unpopular, I would say that we now know the science behind healthy, happy, and, enduring relationships.
The Desire to Feel Alive
Click here to view and print forms for your appointment.Click Here