As a young adult I remember having a talk with my father about my disappointment that he \rarely if ever said anything positive about me, Somehow during our conversation the topic came up about telling people that you love them. I don't really remember details related to the conversation, but, I do remember my father's statement that,"telling people that you love them really means nothing". He told me that it is what you do that matters, and not what you say. I knew that my father did many things for me and was very helpful in many ways, however, he was not emotionally nurturing. I felt this emptiness and held a belief that he really didn't love me. Looking back my view of him was inaccurate. Of course he loved me, however, I wanted him to tell me that, and I wanted him to tell me that he was proud of me. I wanted him to notice my accomplishments and I had worked so hard for his approval. There came a time after getting out of graduate school that I realized he was never going to tell me that he was proud of me or that he loved. It was both disheartening and freeing. My hunch is that if we tell people we love them and the words are not supported by actions the person we care about may not get the message. On the other hand we can do many things for the person we love but if we don't tell them that we love them, they may not get the message. So what has my father taught me? He has taught me that I need to work at doing both.
Do Actions Really Speak Louder than Words?
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