Although many woman say they want a man who can be sensitive, vulnerable, and can show weakness. The research seems to show that that women actually don't tolerate it very well when their partners are genuine and drop their manly armor. On the one hand woman want intimacy but on the other hand they want their partner to be the strong, masculine and maybe even a fearless warrior. And of course this has been the role of men for thousands of years. Men have been protectors, hunters and warriors. During our major wars it is not women who have been drafted into the armed forces to fight but it has been young men. Now we have women police, soldiers, combat jet pilots and navigators. Unfortunately we have misconceptions regarding strength and courage. The woman police officer, that we might see on "Youtube", who you see crying and can show vulnerability is not necessarily weak or lacking in courage. In her nature she is not role defined like men and can release tension from her body. In fact this likely makes her stronger for her size and more physically flexible. Many men are emotionally guarded and much of their energy goes into maintaining their image of being strong. Of course they are strong, however, they could be even stronger and more flexible if all of their energy was available for living life. I have mentioned this before, but when I was in basic training, one of my friends would cry almost every day. I would never cry at that point in my life, I believed it was unmanly. Basic training was really miserable for me except for the physical aspect of it which I loved at the time. I was surprised that when we received our first assignment on an aircraft carrier, my friend made a much better adjustment than I was able to make. It was only years later that I understood what had happened. He had developed more emotional flexibility than I was able to develop. So if you want your man to be even stronger and more felxible, encourage him to be open and genuine without judging him. Your judgment will weaken him. It might take some emotional work on your part to be able to develop this way of relating and connecting. The reality is that if we are unable to be genuine and vulnerable, we are less able to be connected and emotionally intimate. Dr. Brene Browns is a researcher in the area of shame. She talks a lot about armoring, vulnerability, and intimacy. You might want to check out her work.
Don't Knock the Strong Prince off His Horse
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