If we assume that we need to heal the child with in us to heal ourselves, we already understand that there has been some injury, or lack of nurturance that effected our inner psyche in some way. We have already become mindful that suffering exists within us. Too many of us run from our suffering and discomfort. Those of us who understand that suffering exist and needs to be healed are more fortunate, and so are our children, and their children. As we run, or turn away from the suffering, we never have the opportunity to heal, or transform the suffering into something more. We never have the opportunity to transform the hurt and emotional pain into loving energy or compassion. If we don't do this we can easily transmit our suffering to the next generation as well as to those around us. As I have heard said, we are the first victim, and those around us may be the second and third victims" What is this healing that needs to take place? The story of our injury began, I have no idea where or when. But, once upon a time, long ago, in a land far away, there were two people who fell in love. A man and a woman. Well, they may have just fell in lust, or something of that nature. Maybe they just needed to get together for survival At any rate they, "got together", if they didn't, "get together", (I am not sure what they called it back then) our ancestors would not exist. We don't know much about their suffering. Did one of them have anxiety, depression, anger management issues, adhd, or did they just lack compassion? Was it thousands of years ago, or was it longer? Whatever emotional issues they had was likely undiagnosed. We know this, physically they transmitted their genetic information to their children, and their children transmitted their genetic information to their children. All of their genetic information, from every generation continues to exist within in us. We might say that our ancestors that lived thousands of years ago continue to live within us. They not only transmitted genetic information to us, but they also transmitted their emotional pain and suffering from one generation to the next. They did this in the manner with which each couple communicated with each other, and the manner with which they communicated with, and parented their children. It is mind boggling to even think about it, however, not only our genetics have been handed down from generation to generation, but so is an individual's emotional pain and suffering. The degree to which each parent learns to heal from their own pain, will determine the degree to which that emotional hurt and suffering, will be transmitted to the next generation. We can easily see this as we observe parents treating their children with kindness and compassion, or as we see parents demonstrating neglect, degradation, and other behavior which humiliates and demeans their children. If our parents exist within us, is it possible to heal ourselves by healing them. Some people believe this is possible. It certainly seems as if we contain our parents, and our ancestors within us. If you don't believe it, just ask where that excessively critical voice within you comes from. The voice that is stronger than the natural, "negativity bias', that we all have inherited. Whether you believe this or not is less important. The most important thing is to learn to have compassion for our own suffering, and our own hurt. To accept and embrace our own anger, sadness, and disappointment. But, what if we can go deeper, what if we could learn to express compassion for the five year old child that we once were, and what if we could learn to develop compassion for the pain and suffering of our parents? What if we could visualize and dialogue with the five year old who was once your father or mother. At that time they were very susceptible, and sensitive to negativity and criticism. Could we then begin to understand their suffering, their hurt, their vulnerability. All of that which was unhealed within them, and was transmitted to us, The hurt in them that ultimately hurt us. Could we then better understand that which may have prevented them from having the understanding, care, and compassion which we needed as their child. Would that help us heal more completely? Would that help transform our suffering into compassion for both them and ourselves? Would it help us to be free? Who knows, maybe our parents do continue to exist, in some form if they are no longer visibly on this planet, either inside or outside of us, or both? If we are fortunate enough for our parents to be with us, it may be invaluable to develop a greater sense of compassion for them, it may be valuable for both them and ourselves, to in some way let them know that we have understanding and compassion for their hurt.
Healing Your Inner Child, Healing Your Inner You
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