How Can I Create Conflict and Stress at Home?
A related and helpful question might be: How can we create conflict and negativity when being with and relating to others? This idea certainly seems very silly and bazaar, however, if we clearly understood what we do to generate conflict we can more easily change our behavior. Even the idea or thought of intentionally creating problems with others might be upsetting and repulsive for many of us. The truth however is that many of us do generate or build conflict with others. Just like we create a building, a sand castle, or make a cake, there is a structure and process that we use. I sometimes talk about creating a fire when discussing conflicts. As each individual throws fuel or logs on the fire it gets bigger. Well we can also put things on the fire to reduce its size or starve it by not supplying fuel. We all know this intuitively and yet we often unknowingly continue to provide fuel to difficult situations. It is as if we architects that can effortlessly create challenging and upsetting situations which are unhelpful to ourselves and the others. Remember the movie, “How to Lose a Man in Ten Days”, A funny movie and a ridiculous idea, however, it did make a good point. Our goal is to improve the way we relate to others, be skillful, and set a tone for reducing stress and improving family communications.