This post is about healing from the injuries, hurts and trauma's that we have experienced both as children growing up in our families, as well the injuries that have occurred as we have traveled through life as adults. How do we heal from these difficult experiences, and how can our intimate relationships help us to heal? It is my hope that the things that I have posted and have been posted to my website can help provide knowledge, support, and encouragement as you work toward your healing. It is my hope also that you can develop an intimate relationship that will help both you and your partner heal. All of us are injured, all of have been hurt, and all of us have experienced trauma in one form or another, we all suffer. For some of us these experiences and injuries are profound and run deep into the core or our being. They may even cause us to close off our hearts. What are these injuries?. For some of us they are related to physical abuse, for others it might be related to neglect, others may have experienced psychological abuse, and some even have experienced some type of sexual abuse or molestation. I am sure there are many other types of hurts that have not been mentioned here. Somehow we may have not not been shown the love, respect and care that is our birthright, In our hearts many of us bear the scars of these difficult experiences. I just had a thought about, "Scar", the animated lion in the movie "Lion King", his unhealed hurt did not do him well. I suspect it was not an accident that he was named Scar by the screenwriters. Often our hurts are more than scars, they are wounds that remain open and unhealed. As we relate and interact in the world these tender injuries can remain sensitive, and when they are touched or reinjured we may recoil and withdraw into ourselves, which can cause us to turn away from others, or we we can react with aggressiveness and anger, much like any other animal in nature that is injured. Unfortunately, sometimes we may even terminate relationships that have the potential for healing because we get lost and tangled in the interaction with the other. We may struggle to become untangled, but the task of untangling may become overwhelming, we only feel more hurt, overwhelmed, and lost. We might even decide to cut the strings that tangle us and set ourselves free from the relationship completely. We move to another relationship where we repeat the same scenario without healing. Some of us stay together for decades, living in even more suffering. When we have unhealed injuries we may look at the world or others from the filters of our past. These perceptions can affect our behavior. We may at times see our intimate other as our adversary or at times our enemy, we may attribute more negativity to them that actually exist within them. During conflicts this can become even worse. As we become emotionally upset, we can contribute to intensifying conflicts and move the relationship away from healing. This is a caution for all of us who have been severely injured. We can learn to use conflicts as ways to develop closeness as opposed to developing more sadness, suffering, and isolation. We have the potential to do it differently. We have the ability to learn what we can do. It is really pretty simple when we learn what to do. Everything that I have posted on Facebook, has been posted to my Website. drecupido.therapist.com. I heard an interesting statistic yesterday. Regarding long term relationships, from the time couples know they are in trouble they usually wait six years before they get therapy. For an appointment call 856 417 2283. I work on a sliding scale. If you can't afford therapy call me I will direct you to some resources that can help.
Injury, Hurt, and Trauma
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