What is the relationship between power and intimacy in loving relationships? Is it true that the person who cares the least has the most power? This may well be true in business relationships but is it true in intimate relationships. There seems to be some truth to this belief, but the issue may be more complicated. The most important question that we may want to ask is "what do we want for our relationship"? During the "Honey Moon", phase of our relationship power is not so much of an issue. We are in love and the other seems to be everything we want. We see the best part of them and enjoy their positive qualities. Unfortunately something happens as we become lax, get to know each other more, and no longer have our best foot forward. We can become disappointed in the other and we are not getting the same high that we experienced initially. As our needs are not being met and the dynamic begins to change. We may begin to struggle with issues related to power, and of course our old strategies for getting what we want can begin to to surface. These strategies can be both conscious and unconscious. How do we have influence with the other to get what we want and need? Ideally or ultimately we learn to communicate our needs and desires to each other in a respectful and assertive manner, we work through our disappointment and conflict, as we fight fair As the couple learns to share power and help each other become empowered, more intimacy develops and the couple becomes closer. They experience more emotional safety, confidence in their relationship, relaxation and intimacy. Unfortunately one person may develop more power and an unhealthy imbalance occurs in the relationship. One partner may establish dominance or power by shaming or criticizing their partner, or some other method of control. As the unhealthy imbalance occurs both partners may begin to feel anger, resentment, sadness, and even depression and anxiety. Not only can they feel more stress but sexual performance issues and their erotic connection may suffer. So what do we really want for ourselves? Do we want to trade off our potential for a loving and intimate connection, for a lifelong struggle for power that will leave us both depleted of energy, unhappy, and even unhealthy. The qualities that attracted us to our partner will likely disappear. The good feelings for the other can disappear under the blanket of disappointment and anger, and yet they are the same person, with the same wonderful qualities that initially attracted us to them. It is almost as if we get to choose what part of them we want to see. There are two parts, and the song and dance can look different from the place of each partner, however we both have the opportunity to change both the song and the dance.
Power and Intimacy in Love Relationships
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