Several months ago as I was dealing with some pretty raw emotions related to a break with with my ex-partner, I exchanged greetings with my mailman. He asked me how I was doing. I told him that my girlfriend and I broke up and it has been difficult. His response was quick and interesting. He said, "well there is plenty of them out there, you'll find another one". The remark was well intended and maybe even emphatic, however, I didn't find it particularly satisfying, and it didn't demonstrate much understanding of what I was feeling in that moment. It certainly is more than humorous as I look back on his comment. Dr. Brene Browns who is a researcher in the area of connection, vulnerability, intimacy, and shame, stated the following, as she was talking about courage, "The broken hearted are the ones who dared to love someone". I suspect that the degree to which we allow ourselves to love someone, will be the degree to which we suffer, when they are no longer in our life. I am sure there are many additional factors that determine the degree to which we experience grief, however, the degree to which we invest ourselves in the relationship, share ourselves, and demonstrate vulnerability are likely to be important factors in dealing with our grief. So what is the risk? Do we ultimately approach our relationship with an open heart and be willing to communicate honestly, truthfully and show vulnerability, or do we remain emotionally detached and avoid the risk of being hurt? Risky business! Nothing ventured nothing gained.
The Courage to Love Someone
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