Using Criticism to Our Advantage
Through the years I have become better at accepting criticism, however, I still become guarded and somewhat defensive when I am criticized or verbally attacked. The degree of defensiveness typically relates to the issues which is being addressed and how I am approached regarding the criticism. It is usually easier for me when the person giving the criticism is sharing their thoughts or experiences with my best interest in mind and demonstrating respect. Unfortunately this is not always the case and at times people will attack an area of weakness when they are angry or just want to lash out and be hurtful. As I have mentioned in another blog we all have parts of ourselves that we just can not see. We are looking at the situation or ourselves from the inside and others are seeing us from the outside. This does not necessarily mean that they are seeing the situation accurately, but they do have a different perspective. Because we all see life and situations through the filters or our past experience we are frequently incorrect with regards to what we see and may only be only half right regarding our perspective. In part at least we create our own reality. We gather information, organize it, and make sense of it. Much like what happens during a first impression. Although the other may not be completely accurate, they may more easily see in us what we can not see in ourselves. There is a part of myself that I just can't see, “my blind spot". I would like to believe that I am completely aware of what I am doing as I communicate with family and friends; however, this is not likely the case. When someone criticizes me I might want to assume that there may be at least an element of truth in their criticism.
written by Don Recupido