I recently received an interesting comment on one of my post regarding intimate relationships. The comment seemed to address the sense of vitality that often accompanies honest, open and caring relationships. Is it possible that the quality of our intimate relationships can have an impact in our mood? Why might it surprise us that our partner's lack of energy, depressed mood, or even anxiety may at least in part be a result of a breakdown in communication. Too often we do not look to the relationship itself as having an impact on our mood or sense of well being. Too quickly we may blame our partner for the way we feel. We may even blame them for being depressed, or anxious when in fact it might be the way we both are choosing to relate to each other. It is not surprising that in nature all things thrive in an optimal environment. Often we do not look at the part we need to play in creating an environment that will sustain us. Sometimes we may blame our lack of energy on aging (which may be realistic). This very often may not be the case. I understand that this type of relationship thinking may be radical for many people. Are we responsible for our own sense of well being? If we assume that position we are in a better position to be empowered in our life, For most of us, it is in our relationship and connection with others that we get some sense or our value and worth. When we feel shamed or not valued it can easily be internalized and greatly impact our energy, motivation and sense of well-being. What can we do to make things better? You probably already know the answer. If we improve the way we care for ourselves and our partners we are moving in a positive direction. Are we monitoring our tendency to be emotionally reactive? Are we complimenting and valuing our partner? Are we practicing active listening daily? Are we refraining from shaming our partner and ourselves? Are we relating thoughtfully, honestly, and respectfully? Are we nurturing our relationship daily just as we would the plants on our porch in the summertime? What is the nutrition that we need to give to our relationship so it will nourish us?