For many couples things go extremely well in the beginning of their relationship. That is when we are at our best and both partners are putting forth great effort to respond to their partner. We are careful to be polite and respectful. Over time we may become frustrated and entangled in conflict which is not completely resolved. Both individuals in the relationship may experience hurt feelings or may even develop some anxiety or depression due to concerns about expressing themselves or not feeling understood. It may seem that the negative feelings which may include anger and irritation cover over much of the positive emotions we once had toward our partner.
When relationships are healthy there is reduced tension between couples. They feel more comfortable talking with their partner and develop a sense that they will not be judged for their experience. They generally feel more relaxed in their bodies and experience less worry and stress. They have more energy because it is not being drained by concerns about their relationship and continuous conflicts which are non-productive.
Relationship therapy is about getting back on track and improving the way that we relate to each other. It is often about rekindling the positive and loving emotions we had toward our loved one and again beginning to see them in a positive way.
It is not an easy task to begin to change unproductive habits that we have developed and which are not working. With gradual effort we can change things around and find more positive ways to help us get what we want in our relationship.